In high school I had this friend (still friends with her, but she’s changed) that would always start arguments over the littlest things. It started to seem like she always wanted to be fighting. I usually was the one apologizing for something that I didn’t even do or have a part of. But there was this one specific time that I still vividly remember. 

I was at work and my phone was blowing up. I saw texts from my other friends saying that she was talking and trying to be with my ex-boyfriend who I had just broken up with two days before. I was so mad beyond belief. There was no way this time she was going to guilt trip me. But I decided for the best to not say anything. After work I had text messages from her apologizing and saying that it was me who broke up the relationship. Why should it matter? This is when I blew up at her. I told her to leave me alone, that she has never been a good friend and I was absolutely sick of it. I never wanted to see her and she can have fun with him. 

I know that if this conversation was face-to-face though it wouldn’t have been like this. I definitely would have still been mad, but I would’ve never said that she’s never been a good friend or actually confronted her on her actions. I’m not good at face-to-face confrontation. I would’ve said it was okay and that she can do what she wants or I probably would have walked away. I would have seen how she was feeling in person and been able to read the cues so it could have taken a whole different toll depending on how she was acting face-to-face. Even though I didn’t do anything wrong if she was sad I would have felt bad for being mean.

Why do I feel more bold online than face-to-face? How is it I always get guilt tripped face-to-face? Why do I not care what someone has to say when in an online setting?